Friday, June 22, 2007

My secret

I am a wife, a mom to one child and a dog
I own a home--the american dream
I have a career
I am grateful for the many blessing in my life
I smile at my family, I cook the meals, do the laundry and
I try my best to play the role of good mom & wife

YET

I'm really not all that good at doing the former
I feel like I'm an outsider looking in
I don't feel as though I belong in this life
I spend alot of time giving myself pep talks
I know the grass is always greener on the other side
I can be honest now, but still
I will keep my secret

9 comments:

gautami tripathy said...

Isn't it this way always? Most of us are dissatisfied with our lots.

Regina Clare Jane said...

That's the secret, really- to make peace with our decisions in life. I hear you...

Bongga Mom said...

Great post, the subject could be me!! Except substitute "three kids" in the first line and "no career" in the third :)

megnificent! said...

When we become moms, we do lose a little bit of ourselves, somewhere, but that's not to say that it's forever. I have had thoses feelings, too. Been married almost 19 years with 3 teens, and still, sometimes, I feel like I'm off my "true path". Connecting with others is really important.
Your secret is one many of us can relate to.

Rob Kistner said...

Tangerine -

For the first 40 of my 60 years I was convinced that the grass was definitely greener on the other side, and that someone had screwed up badly and put me in the wrong life... I just knew it was true.

I was constantly seeking the new grass, and the new persona... until one day it dawned on me that there would eternally be "the other side", and no matter how many different persona I tried on -- it always ended up being me.

The day I stopped looking over 'there' and instead, looked right 'here' for my reality -- was the day I began to be the 'cause' of my life, and not the 'result'. I felt empowered.

However, it sometimes takes a lot of disappointment and heartache before we realize this.

Do your best! ;)

January said...

I think this is a secret most women share.

Patois said...

I have a very close friend who feels the same way as this. (No, it's not me.) I know that's very hard to overcome. I wish you luck.

lisrobbe said...

Don't we all feel that way. It's as if we've moved into a completely different universe than we were in before family came along.

Fledgling Poet said...

Thank you for visiting my blog...I love what you have to say here on yours and I hope you'll write more soon! I can relate to so many of your posts.